In Ethiopia, there is a saying, “Sat weldu bilu.”  The literal translation is “Eat before you have kids.”

But there is a running joke in my family. Not only eat before you have kids but also sleep before you have kids,

watch movies before you have kids, go on dates before you have kids, take a long bath before you have kids…

I am not saying that it is impossible to do any of these things when you have kids, but it is so much harder!

So many people depend on you. So if there is any other person that needs to make time for self-care, it’s moms.

So I say that you give yourself a gift and take the first step in taking care of yourself.  Afterall, you know the saying, “You have to fill your own cup if you want to be able to pour into others.”

There are three areas that we should focus on if you are trying to take care of yourself; take time for your personal needs, take time for simple pleasures, and take time for your relationships.

Now you may not be able to do all of these right away but commit to starting one of these things as a gift to you.

Take Time For You

When we become mothers, we have a new little life to start thinking about.  We have to feed, bathe, put to sleep, and clothe a new little human.  And with such a huge responsibility, we often find ourselves eating leftover grilled cheese sandwich for lunch instead of a real meal.

But at some point (like after the first 6 weeks), we have to start focusing on us again.

Eat Right

Yeah, that grilled cheese example was me (and some days it still is).  Some days I find that it is noon and I haven’t eaten at all.

Unfortunately, it catches up with you.  I started feeling tired all the time.  In fact some days I thought I was pregnant again because that is exactly how I felt during my first trimester.

So no matter what, the top priority when it comes to self-care is eating right.  If that means setting aside Sunday to meal plan for the whole week or stocking your fridge with healthy snacks that you can eat throughout the day, then do what it takes to take care of yourself.

One of my tricks is drinking a nutrition drink when I am pressed for time.  There are plenty of nutrition drinks out there that make it easy to get a healthy meal.  But please read the labels.  They are not all good for you.

My favorite has been Shakeology.  I absolutely can tell the days I drink it and the days I don’t.  It is all natural and not only gives me the nutrients that I need, but it gives me tons of energy.

No matter how crazy your life is, commit to eating healthy.  Even if you start off with just one day a week.  Build on that.

Exercise

Baby weight is not fun.  I remember joking with my doctor that the baby must be growing a lot since he is already 45 lbs.  (It was a joke until I started thinking about the pain of delivering a 45 lb baby.  No thank you!)

Losing weight is the number one reason why most moms work out, the never-ending struggle with baby weight.

But even more important than losing weight, exercising can give you so much energy. Thank you endorphins!

And this is another one of those things that we know that we should do.  Every week we say, “I am going to start Monday.” Of course, when Monday rolls around, it gets pushed to the back burner.

With my first baby, I was so tired that the only thing that I wanted to do if I ever got a little time to myself was sleep.  Forget eating, forget exercising, forget showering.  Sleep.

Oh, how I long for those days with just one baby that took 3 naps a day.  Sigh.

With my second, I started doing T25 while he napped and while my oldest was at preschool.  It worked out great because the workouts were only 25 minutes.  I could do 25 minutes.  I lost all the baby weight and I really did have more energy for all the craziness.

Now with my third, it was a completely different story.  I have T25 and a whole slew of videos, but it was just not happening.  I tried during nap time, I tried after bedtime.  (I am not a morning person so there was no way that I was waking up before I had to.) I just couldn’t find/make the time to exercise.

So now I am actually taking a Tae Kwon Do class.  I have always enjoyed martial arts, so it has been great.  But the thing that I love most about it is that I have to leave the house and I have my me time.

Basically, when it comes down to exercising you have to find what works for you, a DVD at home, a class at the gym, or something a little less conventional like Tae Kwon Do.

Drink Water

Yes, we all know that drinking water is important.  But I barely have time to drink anything but coffee or my Shakeology on some days.

I am off and on with my water drinking.  The days that I did my best was when I was breastfeeding.   Another tool that helped me was a water tracking app. This app gave me reminders to drink water throughout the day and I could keep track of how much I drank each day.

Bottom line, it’s good for you, so do it!

Sleep In Late

I know, I know.  How does this happen when you have three kids.  Its called an agreement with a great husband.

During the week, I have to get up early to get the kids ready for school. He goes in to work a little later, so I let him sleep in.

But on the weekends!!!  He wakes up, fixes breakfast, and occupies the kids so that I can sleep in late.  (Don’t be jelly, he is awesome!)

But even if you can’t do this every weekend, you should at least be able to do this on once in a while or on special days like Mother’s Day and your birthday.  So go ahead, sleep in, I give you permission.

Take Time for Simple Pleasures

Some people may not see these things as important for self-care, but I do.  Sometimes the only time you have for yourself is for the little things in life.  So do what you can, when you can is my motto on some days.

A Quiet Cup of Coffee

I know some moms that long to wake up early and have a quiet cup of coffee before anyone else wakes up.

That is NOT me.  I need sleep.  There are days that I drop off my son at school in my pajamas.  (Don’t judge!)

But I still enjoy a good cup of coffee even if it is in the evening.  My favorite right now is Mayorga (their hazelnut coffee is my favorite, but all of them are good).

Watch a Movie

Forget the dishes, forget the toys all over the living room floor, forget the clothes that need to be folded.  Forget it all.  Just take some time to sit still (even if you do fall asleep in the middle of it).

We try to have movie nights with the kids once a week, but you really can’t beat putting the kids to bed and watching an adult movie (not that kind of adult movie) with your husband.  Or even better, drop the kids off at grandmas and go to a movie that is not animated.

My personal favorites, Dirty Dancing (an oldie but a goodie) and Black Panther (my newest all-time favorite).

Go to the Store By Yourself

Target is calling.

Sometimes all that you need is a short (or long) trip to the store by yourself to feel refreshed.  No “Mommy, can I buy this. Mommy, I need to use the restroom.  Mommy, he hit me.”

And its completely okay if you buy some Starbucks, chocolate, or some other treat that you DO NOT HAVE TO SHARE.

Not much else needs to be said because these are “simple” pleasures, right?

Take Time for Your Relationships

Our children are beautiful and depend on us so much, but there are other people in our lives that we need to make time for.  They help us to not completely lose our minds day in and day out.

Make Time for God

This is another very important pare of self-care but is really hard for me even though I have very good intentions about it.  I make time to pray for my children, but it can be hard making time for just me and God.

Read 3 Reasons Why You Should Pray For Your Children

I know that my soul needs to be refreshed just like my body and mind do.  I KNOW that.  And I know that the only way to get a refreshing for my soul is to spend time with God.

But it can be difficult to find the time or the materials.  I have used apps on my phone, I have gone to bible studies at my church, and I have read books and devotionals.

But the one thing that has made a difference is finding a devotional or book that really speaks to me.

If you are looking for a way to spend time with God and change your life, you need to get Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer.  This book/devotional is amazing and life-changing.

As women, we are always thinking.  Our minds do not rest.  The enemy knows that and wages war on us through our thoughts.  This book completely revolutionized how I dealt with my thoughts.

You know the thoughts we have.  You are not a good mother.  You can’t ever keep your house clean.  You are not as good, beautiful, or put together as those other moms at school.

Battlefield of the Mind helped me remove these thoughts so that I can focus on what God is saying.  And God is saying that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, that His grace is sufficient in all things, that he will give me a peace that passes all understanding in the middle of my crazy world.

We all need that reassurance and love.

Take Time for Your Husband

It is only right.  He was there first after all.

But no seriously, we need to spend time with our husbands.  Like the Barry White song says, “Our first, our last, our everything.”

Our husbands were there before the kids.  They will be there after the kids are off to college.  And if we don’t want to live with a complete stranger after the kids are gone, then we need to make time for our husbands now.

Go out on date nights.  Some women are great about this.

Put your cell phones away, turn off the tv and actually talk at the end of the day.

If we want our husbands to still show us that they love us, then we need to show them that they are still a priority in our lives.

Take Time for Your Friends

I recently watched the movie Girls Trip. The movie was funny and it had a very sweet message; we need friends around us that we can be real with, that know us and still, love us.

Some of those friends knew us before our husbands and kids.  Some of those friends are in the same stage of life and can relate and be a shoulder to cry and lean on.

Whether it is a phone call with the kids screaming in the background. Or better yet, plan a monthly night out.  Keep those connections strong so that you can be strong also.

I know that this is a long list of things to do. And realistically you are not going to be able to do everything on this list all the time.  BUT you gotta start somewhere.

Warning

You may feel guilty that you are making time to take care of yourself.  You may also feel bad about the money you spend or that you are leaving your kids with your husband.  This is real talk.  This is how I feel every time I do something for myself.

My husband may be okay with it.  My mom tells me I need it for me.  I even tell myself.  But no matter what I still have those feelings.  Even with those feelings I still do what I can and need to so that I can take care of me.

You need to take small steps towards self-care.  One meal, one glass of water, one simple pleasure at a time.

What do you do to take time for yourself?  What are you going to START to do to take care of yourself?